Sega spies trouble ahead

There is news today that the storm clouds are gathering again over yet another former gaming behemoth. Sega-Sammy are reporting to investors that profits will be down considerably on prior estimates for the close of this financial year, which could be a sign of impending trouble.

Typical. Just as we were in the market for a new favourite company after Capcom had finally ground our Grig for the last time with their evil tomfoolery. Anyway…

The reason Sega is pinning on their crumbling empire is the ol’ ‘challenging economic climate’ chestnut, which has seemingly been waiting at the gates for them after school to give a swift kicking to their consumer business operating costs, resulting in large losses.

‘But what will all this mean?!’ I hear you cry. Well, the results as they stand will see Sega looking to ‘streamline’ the way they run their business, clamping down on operational expenses, restructuring their current employee hierarchy, and other such nonsensical David Brent-like boohockey.

What it really means, is that they’re gonna cancel games, churn out more rubbish, and sack people.

To this end, we’ll see Sega focussing on their big-name franchises that they have ravaged of any last shred of quality but deem to be high earners and so will continue to vomit out – specifically Sonic The Hedgehog, Football Manager, Total War and Aliens.

Yeah, apparently Sega made an Aliens game. Must be that one everyone slated earlier this gen. Oh, and Colonial Marines of course, if thats even real. Duke Nukem Forever is looking nostalgic and waving. Anyway…

Well, at a time where the only video game news seems to be bad news, this is hardly something new. Sega have been on the brink of destruction before, and probably would’ve rolled over and died if it wasn’t for the millions of its deceased former owner pulling them back from oblivion. But who can save them now?

Well Sega, you’ve come to the right place. If its a saving of superhero-like proportions you’re after, you’ll be glad to know I’ve put my Sonic-themed thermal Y-fronts over the outside of my trousers and I’m limbering up for some heroism in the form of some razor-sharp business advice! Listen up!

First things first, we suggest selling a few IP’s. Let someone else have a punt at Shinobi. We’ll have no more destroying of old classics, and even if it was awful, it would still be better than your more recent efforts. And I’d certainly be willing to chip in a few dabloons if Bomber Games were to go after the Streets of Rage rights. Again, lets face it – if they make an actual SoR4, it’ll be better than anything that will come from in-house at Sega. Next, release Shenmue 1+2 on XBLA as have reportedly been finished. What’s up with the wait, huh? We ain’t getting no younger! Well, unless we were to have a dip in the fountain of youth here on the Isle of Grig… but The Grig did a floater in it last time I checked so we tend to give it a miss. Tssk! And lastly, for the sake of my sanity… release Nights on Live and PSN!

Now admittedly, this is just a wish list of what I want more than a realistically solid business plan, but it’s food for thought… SO DINE ON IT!

‘Till next time… pip pip!

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