Welcome my fellow Grigs and Grigesseseseses… (esses?) as we once again delve into the withering world of video games! Now, it is without question that there are many things that have undoubtedly changed due to the irrepressible wisdom and influence of Grigorig since having arrived on the scene. From our world shaking, Government rocking, revolution spawning Griggish-wisdomry, we have spat in the face of Capcoms laziness, forced Sonic to pee into a force 9 gale until he learned his lesson, and of course toppled super powers like EA with our scathing wit by continuously saying that they’re poo poo. Let no man dissuade you from acknowledging that Grig has changed the gaming landscape for the better!
But before anyone calls foul of our claims, dismissing them as being the first conspiracy theory in history that could ruffle even the brow of Jesse Ventura with doubt, I ask you this: is it coincidence that mere days after a Snatcher revival related article hits the Grig that a new Konami questionnaire appears on Facebook asking which past franchise we would next like to see brought to XBLA and PSN? Pah to ye naysayer! I smell a tip-off! This humdinger has more Grig shaped fingerprints all over it than a Tifa Lockheart action figure!
Apparently Konami have recently realised you can do more on Facebook than just rifle through your mates sisters Ibiza ’08 holiday snaps, and to this end, the Japanese giant are now putting on a facade of democracy by collecting up votes on their fan page as we speak – no doubt to cushion the blow right before they ram Metal Gear 16 down our throats. Still, great news you might think, but before you all flock there in your droves, just hold your horses a moment my Griggers…
This is a call to arms! Already the obsequious buffoons of the modern gaming era are filling up comments threads with their ill-proposed votes for games that are not Snatcher! We must stop the imbeciles who even as I write are voting for the PS1 early PES games over and above the Kojima masterpiece! The early PES games, you say? Yes! The early PES games! Shunning the fact their PS3’s can play the original Playstation games that you can get at any charity shop in the world for 20p, or play the series best in PES 5 on 360 via backwards compatability, these people need to be stopped! Vive la revolution!
Sigh. But alas, I think I must face it. In a generation that has seen Sonic spiral further down the chequered Green Hill themed pan, and where EA are now seemingly full on shepherds leading the gaming youth well and truly to the Dark Side, and in a time when even Nights has not been able to duck the cack-cannon having sullied his purple jester hat with a gratuitous face-full in Journey Of Dreams, we will obviously not be victorious in our Snatcher endeavour. It was all too apparent upon a 10 year old COD obsessive seeing my Mega CD and venturing the question ‘What is that?’, that I realised all was lost.
But let us not underestimate the aforementioned power and authority of the Grig! Vote Snatcher! The campaign starts here (and consists of this article)! Let us all do our part my friends! Then, and only then, we will surely…
*clears throat, takes a deep breath and assumes X Factor finalist balled-up fist stance*
Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me
Gillian – Healing the world in the only way he knows how. Vote Snatcher you son of a horse!!!
In conclusion: Vote for Snatcher for Grig sake!