New Warning for Retro CRT Fans

I Can CRT Clearly Now The Rain Has Gone

Retro fans were left reeling today after news broke that CRT’s are “bloody massive”. Reports flooded in from about 1400 GMT that old style tellies were “about twice as big as you remember” and “weighed an absolute bloody tonne”.

The revelations will send shockwaves through the older gaming community who almost all suffer with bad backs, weak wrists, and general laziness.

A spokesman for the community told about the pain of today’s gut-wrenching discovery: “Well, I tell ya. It’s a gut-wrenching discovery. It’s really painful, really,” he gibbered.

The sheer scale of the CRT situation came to light in horrific images that seemed to show a monstrous Sony behemoth attempting to eat a lowly Sega Saturn in scenes cruelly reminiscent of the mid 1990s. The beast appears to be at least three feet bigger than modern TVs, and weighing almost as much as a double-decker bus.

A vicious Sony monster, yesterday

Victims told this website that it was a crushing blow to their dreams of rescuing a CRT and admitted they’d brought one home that looked tame at first, only to find it was a nasty little beast when it got near their other tellies.

Representatives of GWAGS, the gamer wives and girlfriends group, told that “bedgell wants to bloody think again if he thinks I want to see that ugly old monster in our bedroom. And we are not talking about his wang.”

“For once,” they added, sniggering.

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3 Responses to New Warning for Retro CRT Fans

  1. Dibbs Ahoy says:

    It’s a darn shame if you have to give up this beast, but they are pretty chunky for sure! Must’ve been a nightmare moving it. One of the times I realised my back was really screwed was after moving a CRT from my loft, it was one of the last things I did that really tipped it over the edge! Still the Saturn looks great on it so hopefully you can enjoy it momentarily. And if nothing else, it’s inspired some Grig activity, whoop whoop!

  2. bedgell says:

    Y’know, it always says there are comments and I can’t see them… will i see this i wonder?!?!

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