Hatching Change: A Closer Look

So hot on the heels of my past efforts (roughly an article 7 or 8 years ago) to break down the barriers and establish the firm connection between Teri Hatcher and video games, I figured why not go even further and having a closer look at her YouTube channel, Hatching Change. For surely ‘tis a veritable treasure trove of gaming connections that will render my past efforts seeming like mere brushings by comparison! Possibly. Let’s find out…

Man I could almost kick myself for not doing this earlier. I mean she’s got an entire YouTube channel, and I’ve just slept on it…

What the?! Well it looks like I’m not the only one to have slept on Teri’s efforts! 20k subscribers! That’s… surprising. Some might say pitiful. But of course I wouldn’t. Especially since I still have a vague hope we’ll meet in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo one day in a romantic encounter before going for a drive in KITT. So I would obviously NEVER say such a thing. It’s just, some people might say that. Not me. But still, you’d have to ponder that for a woman who used to have the honour of being the most downloaded woman on the internet, some may have expected better. Just to reiterate, Teri – not me. Heh.

I mean, it was 1997 or something. And to be fair, it’d be a miracle if my own YouTube channel got to even 200 subs, let alone 20K, so by comparison Teri is giving me a whuppin’ of intergalactic proportions. But the difference is I am pathetic, so the emphasis of failure is far more on her head here than mine! Or something. But look at these view counts.

Not much to write home about is it? 1.9 thousand for one of these videos. That’s standard fare for a Dibbs of the Grig video! Oh wait. No. According to my analytics that’s about my combined overall views from every video I have spanning my 7 year ‘body of work’. I really don’t know why I don’t just delete my channel, I really don’t.

Anyway, crashing on, it seems that there is a big focus on making food. Here, for example, she is growing scallions.

I don’t actually know what scallions are, sounds like something you’d have removed via surgery to me, but I thought I’d present this evidence if only to quote Dana Carvey in Trapped in Paradise…

‘It’s got scallions!’

So cooking, huh? I guess there was that one game on the DS, Cooking Mama. Could that be what’s piqued her interest in promoting this culinary endeavour? I mean, previous investigations showed that she had a Wii, so if she’s a Nintendo company loyalist, she may have indeed picked up said title if it was it ever converted. I’m seeing traces of a breakthrough already. Hmm…

Well my memory does indeed serve me correctly. With old video games at least. I could really do with it kicking into gear while I write this rubbish though to spare me sitting there for five minutes trying to recollect the word ‘and’ while I struggle to string a sentence together. Stupid failing brain!

Aha! See, I knew it. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Another investigative breakthrough for Grigorig!

Actually, one thing I overlooked previously, is that there were obvious tells of video gaming experience on show in her most recent video, as featured on this very website. Fishing? Sega Bass Fishing? Man it’s so obvious! How did I miss that at the time?! Darn my foolish oversights!

Clearly Teri would have the sense to be a Dreamcast owner, only being in possession of a Wii due to it housing Nights into Dreams follow up, Journey of Dreams. Of course if Teri were a loyalist to any company, it would have to be Sega. I hang my head in shame at even contemplating otherwise! Forgive me Teri!

So outside of the cooking stuff, what else resides in the depths of her YouTube back catalogue?

Well, she did a whole bunch of van life stuff, but I guess that fad has passed. She seems much too friendly and positive though so I quickly moved on before I found her irritating to the point that I would start to dislike her, thus ruining our past. And by our, I don’t mean you and me, dear greader. I’m talking about the Lois that I have in my head who buys retro video games, laughs at my jokes, and tells me that I’m not playing Rocket Queen loud enough on the car stereo. Them’s be treasured memories, so take the taintage of reality away from me!

There is one thing I gleamed from the van videos though. I’d seen that VW Camper before.

Teri’s ‘Van Life’ camper van.

VW camper from Forza Horizon 2 #similar

So what d’ya think? Clearly there’s a link here. This is an influence too uncanny to ignore! She a racing gamer! And we all know who makes the best racing games around – Sega! 

Well, I guess the wheels are the same at least.

For whilst Teri wait’s mournfully for Sega’s port of Sega Rally to a modern system, and after playing Daytona till her thumbs could take no more, she doth while away the hours with substitute racers such as Forza 2. This is definitive evidence of gaming influence right here, and no court in the land could possibly argue otherwise… 

Oh who am I kidding?!

Ok, this is really just a bust isn’t it. I’ve lost my touch in the seven years I’ve been gone! I can’t find anything! Even regular internet browsing yields no results. The best you get is it pulling up pictures of Billy Hatcher when you search Teri’s name along with Sega, and even that’s too poor a result to even make a Grig post out of… yet.

Sigh. Guess I’ll just skulk away defeated. Sniff.

But, just when you thought all was lost after I’d exited stage left, suddenly comes the unexpected and riotous encore!

Now you can’t tell me this isn’t a clear message! Everyone knows that in America the Megadrive is called the Genesis! A sure fire sign her allegiance is with no other than the maker of the bluest skies in all of gaming! In attendance probably to collect best action game on behalf of Treasure for Gunstar Heroes, Teri can be seen lighting up the red carpet here at the Genesis Awards. Other big winners that night were Streets of Rage 2, Sonic 2, Castlevania Bloodlines, and Phantasy Star IV, according to the voice inside my head. 

And if you think that’s all I had, then wait for this! Extracted from her Instagram page… BOOM!

Obviously working for Sega on some promotional marketing blitz, Teri is seen here clearly getting into the habit of emblazoning obscure household items with the name of her favourite Sega handheld all in the name of pushing for gaming superiority!

Well, it’s worked on me. I’ll take three! Oh Teri, ye of such fine taste! Cultured enough to know of even the more aloof of Sega paraphernalia. I salute you ma’am, I salute you.


This entry was posted in General and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Hatching Change: A Closer Look

  1. Billy Bob says:

    This is the best damn journalism I ever did see

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *